Big Trouble in Little China

Greetings, friends from hot, hot China. I learned today that the reason my family doesn't use their air conditioning is because they, like most Chinese people, believe that cold air is not good for one's health. I had thought that they did not use the AC because they wanted to save money. Nope. Apparently sweaty skin sticking to the furniture is good for one's health. Now, I fully respect Chinese beliefs, but for me it is just too damn hot, especially at night. So right now I've got my personal AC unit going at a cool 20 degrees Celsius. Oh, yeah in addition to Chinese, I'm starting to get used to the Metric system! So now with my cool comfort needs satisfied, I can begin tonight's post. I have now learned that I should becareful what I say to my family. One day last week, I mentioned that I was really missing Western food and cooking. This led to a discussion on the differences between American and Chinese food. I mentioned that a lot of Western food is prepared in ovens. The Tseng family doesn't have an oven- most Chinese dishes are stir fried, steamed, or pan seared, very few at home dishes are roasted, that tends to be saved for the restaurants. Anyway, they seemed genuinely concerned that I was missing my familiar food, so they did one of the nicest things. They bought me a toaster oven. Now, I am incredibly grateful for their thought, but I have absolutely no idea what I can make in a toaster oven. Even if I did I doubt that I could find all the ingredients in China. And lastly, they don't have measuring cups here, so everything would have to be estimated. However, I don't want to be rude, so I have been searching for easy toaster oven recipes online for the past few hours. Hopefully they don't expect me to cook an entire dinner for them. That would be like trying to feed an entire restaurant using just an Easy Bake Oven. Now unfortunately, my cooking problem is the smallest of my woes. Today I got in trouble with the police. Any foreigner who comes to China and stays anywhere other than a hotel has to register themselves with the local police department within 24 hours of arrival. Well, I did that today... about 30 days too late. As a result, I was declared officially in violation of Chinese law. That sounds a lot worse than it actually is. All I had to do was fill out a form stating what law I broke, why I broke it, and then give my view point on Chinese laws. I however, do not yet speak fluent Chinese. So Doctor Tseng had to write out what I needed to say first, and then I copied what he wrote onto the form. It would have been easier had he just filled out my form, but it had to be completed by the guilty party. Red tape, it's a global problem. Regardless, I now hold a criminal record in China, a minor one, but a record none the less. The silver lining though is that I didn't have to pay a fine, which could have been anywhere from 20 to 100 US dollars. Plus, I now have some street cred. When I get back to America, no one's going to want to mess with China's most wanted.

From China With Love

Hello, friends and family. This past week, in addition to sightseeing, I attended a lecture. Tseng Cai Xia, my host mother, is both a pediatrician and an entrepreneur. She and several of her friends run a small company that markets and promotes products meant for bettering one's soul. I'm not entirely sure what that means or entails, but business seems to be good. And I'm not one to argue with success. Regardless, using their company sway, the were able to get two fairly prominent lecturers from Taiwan to come to Beijing and speak. Interesting thing to note, the lecturers were a married couple, but had two different last names. Apparently, the wife does not have to give up her name after marriage. Anyway, the topic of their lecture was how to use love and wisdom to embrace life. While a lot of what they said was lost on me, I had no trouble understanding their personal stories. The wife's name was Lin Yu Tan, and her story was particularly tragic. Her father was abusive to both her and her mother. And at the peak of his rage he would beat her mother. Lin Yu Tan, after witnessing her father throwing her mother down the stairs, begged her mother to leave. But her mother simply responded that that would be impossible. That she was just a woman and could not survive on her own. Eventually, her mother chose not to survive and took her own life. After her mother's death, Lin Yu Tan fled from her abusive home to live with her grandmother and the rest is history. All in all, the lecture really left an impression. And apparently so did I. After the lecture was through, several members of the audience came to talk to me and take pictures with me. Oddly, they were surprised to find out I was American. Apparently, I look like a Frenchman to the Chinese. Afterwards, I went to dinner with the Tsengs, the lecturers, and a couple family friends. There, I entertained with childish Chinese grammar and clumsy chopstick skills. At times like that, I find that laughing at my short comings is the best way to handle any embarrassing situation, and the Chinese seem to like me for it. A bit of humor never hurts. And finally, I would like to be the first to wish my mom a very happy birthday. It's not officially your birthday in the US, but it is in China. So, Happy Birthday, Mom! From China with love.

From Ming to Mao

Hello, friends. So the last time I started writing this post I was interrupted and forgot to save what I had written. So I'm rewriting the whole thing. A tad irksome but for you, my dear reader, I'll move mountains. Anyway, this past week my fellow homestay friend Clare and I went to the heart of Beijing, Tian'an Men Square. It is difficult to describe the atmosphere of Tian'an Men. It is the most important square mile block of land in all of China. On it's left side sits the headquarters of the Communist Party, the highest seat of power in all China. Right in front is the former seat of power for Imperial China, the Forbidden City. And right in the center is the final resting place of the founder of the People's Republic, Mao Zedong. In the square, security is tight. One has to walk through a security check point before entering, and nothing that resembles a memento (such as flowers) can be brought in. China has done its best to keep the 1989 student demonstration hidden from its people. And when entering Tian'an Men Square, this desire becomes apparent. Stationed every hundred yards or so is guard, there to maintain order, but I suspect mainly to stop anyone one stupid enough to try and pose for a picture with their hand raised to stop an invisible tank. Regardless, one got the idea that this was not the place for jokes. So with that in mind, Clare and I set off to see Mao Zedong's mausoleum. Now, the Mao-soleum is a huge building, about 10 to 15 stories high, and from what I gather,it contains four rooms. Outside there is a stand where you can buy white roses to give to Mao. Inside there is an entry room with a larger than life statue of Mao sitting cross-legged in an armchair. This is place where you place your flowers. Then you are ushered into a hallway and divided into two lines before entering the viewing chamber. The chamber is small with walkways on either side. In the middle, surrounded by bullet proof glass and four armed guards, sits the open casket containing the Late Chairman. Staff rushes visitors through to the next room, which is just a small gift shop containing Mao memorabilia and then there's an exit. All in all the visit takes about ten minutes. After the Mao-soleum, Clare and I put our history caps on headed for the Forbidden City. The Forbidden City, or Palace Museum (as the Chinese call it), was home to 24 Ming and Qing emperors. It is also the quintessential model of traditional Chinese architecture. Yet most of the palace's treasures are no longer there. During the founding of the PRC, Mao declared a cultural revolution. As a result many of the ancient works of art and literature were destroyed. Yet fortunately, the opposing party led by Chiang Kai'shek saved as many cultural relics as possible and fled with them to Taiwan. So if one wants to see the greatest collection of ancient Chinese artifacts today, he must travel to Taipei and visit Taiwan's National Palace Museum. However, for Clare and I, while we appreciate Chinese history, we mainly were interested in taking fun photographs. The Forbidden City is always filled with tourists and tour groups. However, if a visitor decides to forgo an audio guide and tour group, the city's true wonders can be found. What we enjoyed the most were not the grand halls of the central complex, but rather stumbling upon empty courtyards and allyways discovering parts of the palace most visitors don't see. It was moments like that, away from all the noise of other tourists, that one felt the ancient city come alive. Not to mention, spots like that served as good places to take cheesy Kung Fu photos. What can I say? I'm a kid at heart.

Bed Bugs in Beijing

Hello, friends. It's Saturday night here in China, and I'm currently in the northern Chang Ping District. It's about an hour from where I live, but still considered a part of the city. Even though i'm still in Beijing, it feels miles away. There are no tall buildings, no cars, no buses. It's just farmland. And all of it is still considered part of China's capital. Most people don't realize just how huge Beijing is; it's outer areas reach well past the Great Wall. And according to Samantha Brown, the city is bigger than the country of Belgium. You might ask what we are doing way out here. Well as Dr. Tseng told me, Beijingers like to go out to the country on the weekends. The most popular activity is pricking fruit. And that is just what we did. For an hour or so we went out to a large grove and picked cherries. Now, I thought this would be it, and we would go home after. I was wrong. We then arrived at the home of a local farmer, met up with family friends, and had lunch. Afterwards, we played a game called police and murderers. For those of you familiar with the game Mafia, it's the same. For those of you who aren't, here's a quick summary: a bunch of people sit in a circle, each person takes a card, on the card it says towns person, police, or murderer, everyone closes their eyes and then the person who us the murderer points to a person they want to "kill", he then closes his eyes and the policeman opens his eyes to choose who he thinks the killer is, all of this is done silently, then everyone opens their eyes and discusses one by one who they think the killer is, afterward they choose one member who they think is the killer. If they guess correctly, the game is over. If the guess incorrectly, they keep playing. This proved to be an incredibly difficult game for me, because I had to defend myself or accuse others in Chinese. However I did learn some good vocab like suspicious, gilty, innocent, and liar. After this game we had dinner and then sang karaoke. I don't know why, but Asians love karaoke. I find it embarassing, yet somehow I still found myself singing "Wan Wan De Yue Liang" in front of a thoroughly tickled and tipsy crowd of Chinese adults. After this, I was quite looking forward to going home. I was wrong again. As it turns out, the farmer's house also doubles as an inn. And we were going to stay the night. I did not know this. So, currently I am wearing boxers and a T-shirt that smells like sweat and roast lamb. I am sitting on a bed with itchy sheets. I just got out of a five minute shower (that's how long the hot water lasted). Since I've been typing this, I've killed five very large insects living in between my sheets. And for the first time in my life, I really am hoping that the bed bugs don't bite.

A Thousand and One Chinese Nights

Good evening from Beijing. As you may or may not know, when the Tseng family took me in it was on the basis that I would teach them English for one hour each day. Well, there hadn't really been much teaching going on... Until tonight that is. Dr. Tseng came up with the idea to tell stories instead of having regular "class." So today while everyone was at work or school, I translated one of Juicy's storybooks into English thinking I could use this for my story that night. Well as it turns out, they would be telling stories in English and I would be telling them in Chinese. So that evening after dinner, we sat around the living room and listened to each other tell a story while changing minor errors in grammar or syntax. What I've noticied is a fairly common problem Chinese people have is differentiating between "he" and "she." In Chinese both words are pronounced exactly the same but written differently. So sometimes they will assign the masculine "he" when referring to a female. I've never heard it the otherway around though. Another common error is that they might forget to turn verbs or nouns into adjectives or adverbs. For example, they might say the floor is slip, instead of slippery. But when you consider how vastly different English and Chinese are, an error like this is really quite minor. As they keep telling me, as long as you can make the meaning clear you're doing alright. Anyway, there we sat, three adults, with childrens' books in hand painfully translating them. Dr. Tseng went first and recounted the story of a girl who loved flying kites but was scolded by the village's matchmaker. Actually it was a story staring Mulan, but not the real Mulan. It was the Disney fabricated one. Afterwards, Mrs. Tseng entertained with the tale about a frog who fell in love with a duck. And I couldn't help but chuckled at what a mix between a frog and a duck would be called. Then it came to be my turn. Not having an English book in front of me to translate into Mandarin, I had to think up a story. I tried to think of an American story, or one that they would not have heard before. Then I remembered my favorite story from my childhood. I am speaking, of course, about The Little Rabbit Who Wanted Red Wings. So there I sat, retelling my favorite story to a whole new audience, who to my surprise enjoyed my rendition in broken Mandarin. The exercise proved to be quite educational. I only have one problem, I don't that many stories! Any suggestions?

Beijing Birthdays

Hello, friends. Hao jiu bu jian! You might not know this, but this is actually a Chinese saying that we English speakers have adopted. "Hao jiu" means "long time," and "bu jian" translates to "no see." in any case I must apologize for my extended internet absence. Life has been rather regular here in the capital, and the muses haven't been singing as loudly as before. But that is not to say that I haven't been enjoying myself. I have been immensely. This past weekend was Juicy's 7th birthday, and to celebrate the Tseng family and I went on a picnic. The chosen spot was by far one of the strangest places I have been to in Beijing. We went to a hotel way out in the outskirts of the city. The striking feature of the hotel was that it was modelled after a French chateau. I really can't explain the strange feeling one experiences when he drives through a Beijing slum and emmerges into a huge field to find he has been transported to the French countryside. So, anyway the Tseng family, myself, and four of Juicy's friends and their parents all ate celebrated Juicy's birthday together in fake (or should I say faux) Franceland. One aspect of the celebration that I noticed is the there was not a lot of emphasis on gift giving. Juicy received maybe five presents, two from her parents and one from each family that attended. More over each gift was opened promptly after it was received, but never in sight of the giver. From what I witnessed, even for a child's birthday, the emphasis was put on family and friends, not gifts. That's something that I didn't not understand until I was much older. After our picnic, all of the families and I went to tour an elaborate neighborhood. It's call to fame was that it was American style. The neighborhood, to me, was uppity and self rightious. The staff had a pompous air about them and the decorations were as opulent as they were gaudy. Each house in the neighborhood cost approximately 1.5 million US dollars, which I thought was ridiculous. But to the Chinese, owning a house in Beijing is a big deal. It is as much of a status symbol as a car is here. And to them, if the money is good, it is a price worth paying. Be careful, my Chinese friends. We don't want a Chinese housing market crisis. The next day, I had class with my teacher, Tang Lao Shi. That night it was her friend's birthday so she invited me to join. The celebration was being held at a hot pot restaurant, and for me, it was my first time trying hot pot. It's actually not that different from a meat course at a fondue restaurant. Think Melting Pot with thinly sliced meat and chopsticks and you've got hot pot. Tang Lao Shi's friends were particularly difficult to understand because they spoke with a Hunan dialect. They also found great pleasure in asking me questions in rapid fire Mandarin only to watch the blank look on my face. This so far has been the only real problem I've had, the inability to participate in daily conversation. And it has been my greatest frustration since coming to China. It is terribly irksome picking up bits and pieces of conversation, but not being able to convey your own thoughts and feelings. Oh well, as the Chinese saying goes "the patient and diligent student prospers." For now I'll just have to wait and know I will improve.

Olympic Views and Wedding Blues

Hello and friendly greetings from Beijing. First off, I've decided to discontinue my practice of writing an entry everyday for fear that I will run out of material. However, I promise to update this blog every few days, perhaps more often if I'm feeling particularly inspired. Rest assured, my dear readers, I will not forget you... All 9 of you. Now that that is settled I can get to today's topic: Ao Lin Pi Ke Hui! As you know, Beijing played host to the 2008 Summer Olympic Games. To say this was met with some controversy would be an understatement. However, I will not turn this into a discussion of politics and wrong doings. Regardless of one's personal opinions, it is hard to look upon the Beijing Olympic village and not be impressed. China saw these games as a chance to show the world just how far it hash come. Remember that less than one hundred years ago China was a land of peasants ruled under one supreme emperor. However, this nation of 1.3 billion people now stands on the verge of becoming the next world power. Whether this shall come to pass is yet to be decided. If it doesn't, at least they have a cool stadium and swimming pool. Sorry the break in tone, but those last few sentences were getting a bit too heavy for my liking, and way cramping my style. Anyway, what I was saying was that I visited the Olympic village with my host dad. After arriving, the first site to see was the Bird's Nest. The pictures and videos I've seen of this structure really don't do it justice. It's hard to describe just how massive the stadium is. Although to me, the design isn't incredibly esthetically pleasing, that's not to say it still isn't thoroughly impressive. However, the Bird's Nest is nothing compared to the Water Cube. A massive rectangle, the Water Cube's facade has been built to reflect the rippling effects of water's surface. At its base, it is flanked with glass walls that have water falling over them. The water collects into a pool that stretches around the entire building. This feature is mimicked in the lobby as well. I felt like I was in a Zelda game. Inside the competion area there is a lap pool and a diving well. When I was there, the lap pool was empty and workers were busy assembling something in its depths. The diving well however was left untouched. It brought back memories of my high school days. And I won't lie, I did think to myself, "Might I have competed here had I not quit diving?" Oh well. Coulda, shoulda, woulda! Outside the water cube, there were several women wearing wedding dresses. I asked Dr. Tseng why they were dressed like that since no wedding was taking place. He told me that they were only taking wedding photos. Wedding photos are big business in China, and kind of a weird custom. The couples take the photos well in advance, sometimes a year before the actual wedding. And sometimes, it is only a single woman participating in the photo shoot. In this case, she may not have a fiancee or even a boyfriend. While the Chinese have no problem with this, I can't help but feel a little sad for the single women. Behind their smiles is a desire to find love. And I can't help but worry perhaps they are preparing and hoping for a day that will not come. For their sake I sincerely hope it does.